Sephy's Days Of Christmas
by Imagination Live
Summary: Sephiroth has been getting a lot of strange presents and they're starting to scare him, who are they from and why are the gifts so creepy? Slightly AU. No pairings, no fluff, just a crackfic. Mild swearing, rated K Plus to be safe.


_On the first day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, my garbage in a teddy bear tree._

"ZACKARY!"

"What's wrong Sephy?" Zack yawned as he drudged out of his room.

"What the hell is this Zackary!?"

Zack walked over and saw a large stuffed bear sitting in the living room with items pinned to it and a blue and silver sparkled ribbon on the top with Sephiroth's name attached. "What the hell?" He asked.

"Like hell you don't know! Why the hell would you put everything I threw out last week on a stuffed bear!?" Sephiroth asked seething.

"It wasn't me. Seriously Seph, I wouldn't do something this creepy... Are you sure you don't have a secret admirer or something?"

"Sephy~~~~? Why are you yelling this early in the morning?" Genesis asked stumbling out of his room, in his pajamas with loveless in his arms.

"Do you sleep with that or something?" Zack laughed.

"I can't sleep without it..." He pouted, and then shot back. "It's not any different than your stuffed Care Bear!"

"It's not a Care Bear! It's a blue bear Aerith gave me!"

"Of course it is." Genesis said sarcastically.

"I'm serious!"

"Shut up! What the hell is this!? All of my garbage is in a bear tree!"

"It was Zack." Genesis said walking back to his room.

"No it's not! It was probably you!"

"What in Gaia's name is going on?" Angeal asked. "Screaming so early in the morning..."

"Zack or Genesis, put my garbage, I threw out last week in a bear tree!"

"Alright." Angeal said crossing his arms over his chest "Who was it?"

"It wasn't me." Zack said.

"Yes it was! Cause it definitely wasn't _me_!" Genesis said walking back to the living room.

"Do you two need a lesson in honor and dreams?" Angeal asked.

"Geal, it wasn't me." Zack said.

"Oh stuff it Zack, it obviously-What's that?"

"Huh?" They asked in unison.

"The air vent behind the plant." he said walking over to inspect it. The air vent behind the plant had its cover slightly askew, with 3 screws on the ground. "Someone broke in!?"

_On the second day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"What the hell?" On their kitchen table lay 2 purple gloves tied in a red and silver sparkled ribbon with Sephiroth's name on them.

"What Seph?" Angeal asked. Then looked at the gloves. "Two purple gloves?"

"Didn't we fix the vent yesterday?" They went over to check and it looked exactly as they found it yesterday. "Damn it, I'm gonna weld that thing!"

_On the third day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"This is getting ridiculous." Sephiroth said.

"Seriously there's 3 barrels of love letters addressed to you!" Three bins the size of kitchen trash cans were tied together with a purple ribbon with Sephiroth's name on it, all filled with love letters. "Do you think they're all by the same person?" Zack asked.

"Where are _my _love letters!?" Genesis whined.

"You can have them... How the hell did they get in? I welded the air vent shut!" Sephiroth looked at the vent, sure enough, it was welded shut. "How the hell? Everyone, look for another way in!"

_On the fourth day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, four calling Thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"Hello?" Sephiroth asked answering the phone. All he heard was breathing on the other end of the line. "What the hell are you calling for!? I've had enough of this-" They hung up.

"What was that?" Angeal asked.

"Another Third called me."

"That's the fourth one today. What did they say?"

"Nothing, all I heard was breathing each time."

"What?"

"Angeal!" Zack said coming in. "Four Thirds got their phones stolen last night. That's odd isn't it? They had them in their lockers and when they came back the lockers were busted open and their phones were gone." Sephiroth went a little stiff and walked off. "What's up with him?"

"He was just called by four thirds, and only heard breathing each time."

"That's creepy..."

_On the fifth day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"_Hey_, that's my teddy bear!" Zack said. "I thought I lost it!" On the kitchen table lay 5 objects all tied together in pink ribbon with Sephiroth's name on them, among them was the present Zack got from Aerith.

"My precious!" Genesis hissed, swiping his Loveless out of the pile, bringing it to his chest and stroking it protectively.

"I assume all of your new presents are stolen, Seph. That's my watch." Angeal said.

"Take them then, but who owns the other two?"

"I don't know." Angeal said everyone else in agreement. "Let's put them in the Lost and Found.

"Where're my goggles yo!? I put them on my dresser last night!" Reno said frantically.

"Haven't seen em." Rude replied.

"Where're my lucky chocobo undies!?" Hojo yelled to his empty apartment.

_On the sixth day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, six keys a-swaying, five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"Where do all these keys go to?" Zack asked looking at six keys hanging from a plant, tied together in a green string with Sephiroth's name and a map attached. "There's a map too."

"I don't want to know..." Sephiroth said walking to his room.

"It looks like they go to something in your room."

Sephiroth stopped immediately. "Zack, I command you to find out what's in my room."

"Seph, don't be such a chocobo!"

"As your superior officer I command you to find out what they did to my room."

"Fine." Zack sighed. He took the keys and went to Sephiroth's room, "There are six small boxes on your bed." He called. "I'm opening them... Ackk!"

"You alright Zack?" Sephiroth asked pretending to be concerned.

"The first one has live butterflies in it. The second... Painted heart shaped Pieces of wood. The third... Chocolate."

"Don't eat any, you have no idea what happened to them!" Sephiroth warned.

"Wasn't even thinking about it. The fourth... Eww~~~ crumpled up pieces of paper with lip prints all over them." Sephiroth cringed. "The fifth... Flowers? These look exactly like the one's Aerith sold yesterday!"

"Who did she sell them to?"

"A lady in a black cloak, we couldn't see her face."

"Damn and the sixth?"

"Ahhh!"

"What is it Zack!?" Sephiroth didn't fake his concern this time.

"A swarm of ladybugs just attacked me! They looked like something outta the labs! The whole box has white crap inside of it!" Sephiroth just laughed. "It's not funny Seph! They're huge!"

"You're cleaning up my room."

"But Seph! They're _your _presents and _you _forced _me _to open them!"

"Tough."

_On the seventh day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, seven hidden cameras, six keys a-swaying, five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

Sephiroth stretched as he woke up, still dazed from sleep he scratched his bare chest. As he who took in his surroundings he shouted "Puppy!" Without his mako enhanced eyes he probably wouldn't have been able to see it at all. Peeking out between his stuffed My Little Pony collection on the top shelf of his bookcase was a hiddeen camera pointed right down at him. The door opened and he started shouting "What is the meaning of this!?" The door opened further to reveal a groggy Angeal.

"... What...?" Angeal asked tiredly.

"Your puppy placed a video camera in my room!"

Angeal wasn't quite awake yet "... What..? How...?"

"Well obviously he broke in!" Sephiroth roared.

Angeal slapped his cheeks slightly in order to wake up "No, I mean, he couldn't have, he was sent out on a mission last night. He should be coming back around noon."

Sephiroth's face grew redder in anger "Genesis!" He screeched.

"Shut the f*** up, I have a hangover!" they heard Genesis groan from the other room. Sephiroth got up angrily, and stormed towards Genesis's room, with Angeal at his heels, but they found him in the bathroom deathgripping the toilet in the dark. Sephiroth turned on the light and Genesis screamed like he was burning "Turn off the lights! Turn off the lights!" He hissed madly. Angeal turned them off for his friend out of pity. "Why does everything have to be so bright...?"

"What happened to your AA classes Genesis?" Angeal asked.

"... It's hard..." Genesis wimpered, making Angeal sigh.

"Why did you put a video camera in my room!?" Sephiroth roared.

Genesis winced "Be quiet! I have a migraine the size of Midgar right now!"

Sephiroth was about to speak but Angeal interrupted "Did you put a videocamera in Seph's room last night?"

Genesis strained to think, but then gave up because of the pain "... I was totally wasted I could have killed the president for all I know... All I remember is going to a club with Reno... Dancing on some tables, getting thrown out, getting into a street brawl with some furrys, smoking pot with some homeless guys, after that it's all a blur until I woke up in a ditch on the side of the road. I crawled out and hitchhiked with some redneck to the Shinra building, then stumbled through the lobby, passed out in the elevator, woke up and crawled the rest of the way back here, I've been by the toilet ever since..."

"So from the time you were smoking pot, and then waking up in a ditch is unaccounted for. So you could've done it." Sephiroth said grumpily.

Angeal stared at him in shock until he said "I think we need to have an intervention..."

"Won't work." Genesis groaned into the toilet before retching, prompting Angeal and Sephiroth to close the door and walk into the living room.

"I don't think it was Genesis, I think it was the person who's been breaking in..." Angeal said. Angeal's eyes located something past Sephiroth "Seph, look! Another camera!" Angeal said making Sephiroth whimper "There might be more, lets find them and tell security."

_On the eighth day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, eight blades a-twinkling, seven hidden cameras, six keys a-swaying, five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"_**WHERE'S MASAMUNE!?"**_ Sephiroth screamed, loud enough to be heard on 10 floors in both directions.

"Holy shi*! I think you just killed my eardrums." Zack said loudly, coming down the hallway. He saw Sephiroth seething in his room literally foaming at the mouth. "What happened? You were so loud I couldn't understand you."

"MASA-"

"It's alright, breathe, you'll have a coronary if you don't settle down."

"Masa-" He breathed in for a count of 10 then out "Masamune-is gone!"

"It's alright you probably just misplaced her."

Sephiroth nearly cried "I couldn't handle it if something bad happened to her. What if-what if-" He nearly broke.

"Shhh, Sephiroth, it's alright we'll find her."

"Who's going to read her bedtime stories, who'll feed her blood, who'll be there for me!?" Zack sort of cringed at the blood comment.

"We'll get her back in time for all of those things. Don't worry Sephy; she'll be alright till we can find her."

"Don't call me 'Sephy', Zackary." Sephiroth said pitifully.

"Let's start looking." They checked high and low for Masamune, and then found something odd in the living room, another gift. There was a medium sized box in the living room, wrapped in a sleek crimson wrapping paper, with velvet hearts on it, with a white silky ribbon tied around it, making a bow at the top, Sephiroth's name was once again attached to the gift. "Maybe in here?"

"MASAMUNE!" Sephiroth shouted before ripping the box apart with SOLDIER strength.

In the remains of the box was the Masamune lying in eight pieces. "Oh shi*..." Zack let out before the impending disaster.

"_MASAMUNE_!" Sephiroth wept, holding pieces of the sword close to his chest. "What have they done to you? My poor, poor, baby... You didn't deserve this..." Tears poured out like a fountain. "That sick bi***! I'll make sure she pays for hurting you! I'll make sure- I'll make sure! Don't worry sweetheart, I'll avenge you..."

"What's going on Seph?" Angeal asked from the doorway, with Genesis behind him.

"Some sick bi***, murdered Masamune!" He cried.

"Oh my god..." Angeal said walking over to Sephiroth, "Don't cry Sephiroth, it's alright..."

"I'm not crying damn it!" He yelled through waves of tears.

"Of course you're not, I'm sorry. We can fix her-"

"No, it won't be the same!"

"Seph. What the hell is wrong with you, it's not Masamune it's a replica!" Genesis said. Showing him a piece that said 'Made in Midgar'.

"Thank you, Genesis! I love you! She's still alive! She's still alive... Somewhere!" Sephiroth shouted with hope, grabbing a tissue and wiping his face. "Let's find her!"

_On the Ninth day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, nine maiden's kisses, eight blades a-twinkling, seven hidden cameras, six keys a-swaying, five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"Nine Maiden's kisses? Is she planning on turning you into a frog?" Zack asked. On the table was a velvety green pouch tied with a red bow and Sephiroth's name, which was now opened to reveal nine Maiden's kisses.

"I don't know, but I'll pocket a few just in case." Sephiroth answered. "She'll regret stealing Masamune yesterday, once I find her."

"Sephiroth, you are not allowed to kill her, Shinra will find a more suitable punishment." Angeal said.

"F*** that, she should be tortured!" Genesis said.

"I agree with Genesis." Sephiroth said.

"I'm neutral." Zack stated, earning a glare from Angeal. "You can't possibly think I'd side with anyone, that's suicide."

"Your my student, too much training has gone in to you to let them kill you."

"You aren't around every day Angeal." Genesis said. "So he has made a wise decision."

_On the Tenth day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, ten boards a-creaking, nine maiden's kisses, eight blades a-twinkling, seven hidden cameras, six keys a-swaying,_ _five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

Sephiroth padded across the wooden floor of the kitchen every step he took he made a loud creak "What the hell?"

"Since when are all the boards in the kitchen creaky?" Zack asked.

"I don't know?"

"Let's count." Zack counted the creaky boards. "10. I have a bad feeling Seph."

"Me too."

"Not just that. What's coming tomorrow?"

"I don't want anything to come anymore."

"Tough luck though. This is playing out as the twelve days of Christmas, the teddy bear tree is number 1, gloves 2, the bins 3, the phone calls 4, the stolen stuff 5, the keys 6, Angeal told me about the cameras that's 7, the replica Masamune 8, maiden's kisses 9, creaky boards 10. We have 2 days left Sephy."

"Shi*."

"And then we have to wonder."

"Shut up Zackary."

"Why _are _the boards creaky?" he said as they looked down at the floor they stood on.

"I said shut up!" He hissed. "Don't force me to think about this! Don't make any sudden movements-"

"Sephy!" Genesis shouted before slamming the front door causing a vibration to make the boards fall with a large crash. "Sephy? What was that?"

"Genesis what happened?" Angeal asked as he came out of his room.

"Help-please-!" Zack groaned.

Angeal and Genesis went rushing towards the kitchen "What the hell did you do puppy!?" Genesis yelled before seeing the state of the kitchen. "Good Goddess..." The kitchen floor had sunken into the floor below- a supply closet full of shampoo, conditioner and other hair products, Zack and Sephiroth were under a pile of rubble consisting of floor and ceiling. Sephiroth was nowhere to be seen in the mess, Zack was slightly on top with a beam on his lungs.

"Sephiroth's- here somewhere. Can you- help us- out?" He choked out because of the wind being knocked out of his lungs.

"It took us forever to find you in that crap Sephy." Genesis said. "What the hell did the puppy do?"

"It wasn't me! It was that crazy admirer!"

"Liar!" Genesis said.

"He's right. But if you hadn't slammed the f***ing door Genesis we wouldn't have been buried under rubble!" Sephiroth said.

"It's not _my _fault!"

"What happened?" Angeal asked.

"I found some creaky floor boards in the kitchen, Zack counted them and came up with the conclusion that this admirer is recreating the 12 days of Christmas song, this is number 10. Then we realized something was probably wrong with the floor so we decided to be careful and not make any sudden movements. Then Genesis came in shouting and slammed the door and made the floor fall through because of the vibrations!" Sephiroth said angrily.

"Genesis, these apartments are not made for SOLDIER strength." Angeal said.

"So? There wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't messed with the floor!"

"Be careful." Angeal warned.

"The floor falling through must have been her intention though. The whole storage area was filled with enough hair products to be a salon." Zack said.

_On the eleventh day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, eleven singers singing, ten boards a-creaking, nine maiden's kisses, eight blades a-twinkling, seven hidden cameras, six keys a-swaying, five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

The four First Class SOLDIERs were sitting in the living room, paranoid about what the admirer did today. "Has anyone found anything in elevens today?" Sephiroth asked warily.

There was an agreement of "No."

"What should we do?" Genesis asked.

"This is a little scary, not knowing what's gonna pop out at us today."

"Nonsense, Zack. Every day is like that! If people let thoughts like that rule them, things would never get done. We're just as at risk not doing anything." Angeal said.

"Agreed. I will not let these next two days psych me out." Sephiroth said, more to himself than the others.

A knock was heard at the door making everyone jump. "Haha, I'll get it." Zack said nervously.

As soon as he opened the door people pushed past him and lined up "What the hell is this?" Sephiroth asked.

"There's 11." Zack said.

"We're a singing telegram, sent by a very special secret admirer! She handpicked this song herself! Just for her admired, Sephiroth." A man said as he started playing a stereo.

"Get out!" Sephiroth snapped.

"Hu-huh!?"

"I said out! Go, before I break your arms!" Everyone hurriedly filed out; the man who spoke came last, when he reached Sephiroth, Sephiroth grabbed his collar. "Who sent you!?"

"I-i-it was anonymous. She ordered it over the phone, asking us to sing a specific song to a Mr. Sephiroth."

"What song?" He asked.

"It was Britney Spears' remake of 'Hold It Against Me'." He squeaked.

"Creepy." Genesis said.

"Get out." Sephiroth said releasing the man's collar, he ran out and down the hall almost falling on his stereo in the process, as Sephiroth slammed the door behind him.

_On the twelfth day of Christmas my stalker gave to me, twelve hummers humming, eleven singers singing, ten boards a-creaking, nine maiden's kisses, eight blades a-twinkling, seven hidden cameras, six keys a-swaying, five stolen things, four calling thirds, three cinched bins, two purple gloves, and my garbage in a teddy bear tree. _

"What in Gaia's name?" Angeal asked. In the living room all of the furniture had been pushed out of the way, and in the center of the rug were 12 remote control cars in a circle, on the inside of it creating another circle was their remotes, and in the center a giant crimson bow, a tag with Sephiroth's name was tied on it, it seems the admirer had left the cars running, so they hummed as their battery life crept to its end.

"Yay! A remote control car! Awesome! Oooh their hummers!" Zack squealed in delight.

"A seemingly normal gift. Something's wrong here." Sephiroth said suspiciously.

"You should be happy Sephy! A normal gift!" As Zack said this, one came to life, revved up and started driving towards Sephiroth.

"Not normal, what so ever!" Sephiroth said as the hummer came to him and bounced off his shoe. "There's something on top of it." Sephiroth picked up the little car and scratched at the hood sure enough it was a yellow piece of paper.

"What does it say?" Angeal asked.

"_Dear, Honey pie, _'honey pie?' What the hell?" Zack snickered. "Shut up Zackary. I'm continuing _I want to see you, meet me at the Del Monte hotel in Sector 8, Tuesday the 23rd at 8:00pm._"

"Del Monte!? That's the most high class restaurant on the continent! Its 5 stars! I heard their food is the food of the Goddess!" Genesis said excitedly.

"How do you know about it?" Zack asked.

"I read Food Magazine." Genesis replied.

"Really? I thought you only read Loveless." Zack said.

"I've read a great deal of books, magazines, screenplay, and poetry, but by far Loveless is my favorite."

"What genre?"

"Love and tragedy. Then for the magazines Food, Better Home and Garden, People, anything with gossip, and on that note; have you heard the actress that played as the star in Swansong, the most tragic tale of love and death, is quitting her _career _to become a _chef_! Personally, I think she was the most valuable member of the acting world. Oh and-"

"Genesis, I don't know and I don't care. What should I do?" Sephiroth asked.

"Well you want to get Masamune back don't you? While you're there you could taste the food of the Goddess! Win, win don't you think?"

"She'll die if she's harmed Masamune!"

"Sephiroth, you do not want to get kicked out of that restaurant! That would be tragic! Do it after you leave!" Genesis pleaded.

"No killing, where is your honor gentlemen, you would kill an innocent woman, just because she likes you?"

"That and she touched Masamune." Sephiroth replied.

"No, you aren't, I'll go with you to make sure of it!"

"No! If anyone is going I am!" Genesis said. "I'm tasting the food of the Goddess!"

"Isn't that sacrilege?" Zack asked from the table he was squatting on. They all stared dumbfounded. "I mean if you say it's her food, the fact that you'd be eating her food is sacrilege, and the fact that you would call human food hers, is too! Even if it is yummy."

"Zack. You just broke my dreams with those words... Dream killer!" Genesis yelled throwing a fireball at him, Zack rolled out of the way in the nick of time.

Before Genesis could release another fireball Angeal grabbed him "You can go it's a figure of speech someone else thought of."

"I wanna go!" Zack said.

"No, puppy. You said its sacrilege!"

"I'm agnostic what does it matter to me?"

"No-"

"We can all go, right Sephiroth?" Angeal asked.

"Sure, I don't want to go without back up anyway." Sephiroth shrugged. "But, don't even try to stop me."

"We'll see."

"We're here! We're actually _here_!" Genesis cried gleefully.

"Don't act like such a child Genesis." Sephiroth said as he walked into the building. The building looked to be of the highest class, the entranceway had an enormous crimson carpet, golden columns and framework, glistening golden floors, gold toned walls, pristinely white ceilings, crystal chandeliers, expensive artwork, statues, and plants, and in the center of the back wall was a check-in counter. The four seemed out of place in the high class hotel meant for the exceedingly rich. At the counter stood an older man in a butler suit with the air of superiority, as the four walked closer the man narrowed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, have you four gotten lost? This is the Del Monte hotel, a five star establishment with high class standards." He said rudely.

"Excuse me!?" Genesis stepped forward angrily. "Are you implying we have no class?"

The man snorted in reply. Before Genesis could attack the man, Angeal stepped in "We're meeting someone here in the restaurant."

"Oh really?" he said disbelievingly. "And who would you be meeting?"

"They didn't give us a name, but they should be expecting Sephiroth." Zack said.

The man went stark white "Th-the Great General Sephiroth?"

"Yes, and I'm General Genesis Rhapsodos." Genesis smirked.

The man went paler. "E—excuse me for my rudeness, sirs. The restaurant is on the top floor, floor 30." He pointed to the elevator.

"Thank you." Angeal told him.

"Y—your welcome." He sighed in relief when they walked through the elevator doors.

"That guy was rude." Zack commented after the doors closed.

"He was quite rude." Angeal admitted.

"He thought I had no class!"Genesis glowered angrily.

"It's alright Genesis. He doesn't even have class since he couldn't see ours!" Zack said.

Genesis calmed his rage "You're right puppy!"

They reached the thirtieth floor and stepped out; the restaurant was just like the entranceway all that was different were the delicately carved wooden tables with crimson tablecloths with a gold fringe, the dining chairs that were similar in style, the podium, the stage with various classical musicians in the back, the windows overlooking Midgar to the left and the cocktail bar to their right. "I'm kind of scared to see who it is." Zack admitted. "I mean what if it's actually a guy?"

Sephiroth paled "Shut up Zackary."

Genesis laughed but Sephiroth shut him up with a glare. Angeal walked over to the podium. "Name please sir?" a young man asked.

The other three walked over "Sephiroth." Sephiroth said.

"Are you all together?"

"Yes, we're supposed to be meeting someone here." Angeal said.

"Alright." He looked up Sephiroth's name "Alright, your friend has already arrived they're waiting at table 15. Monika? Will you please show them to their table?"

She smiled "Hello, I'm Monika, nice to meet you. This way please." She said leading them to table 15. As the four walked up they could only see the back of the woman's head and her outfit; she was a blonde and she had her long hair cascading over her back and shoulders, she wore a sparkly red dress that went down to her ankles with a long slit up the side to her mid-thigh, and her 3 inch heel, open toed stilettos were matching, as was her clutch purse. "Here you are." Monika said with enthusiasm before walking away.

The woman didn't turn "Sephiroth, you actually came." She said with a smooth velvety voice. Sephiroth walked towards the table. "Please sit." She motioned.

He went to the front of her and glared "Where's Masamune?" he asked dangerously.

"Please Sephy, let's have a nice evening." She said in a pouting voice. He still couldn't quite see her face through her hair.

"Why'd you steal Masamune?" Angeal asked.

She spun her head revealing her face "What are you three doing here!?" She hissed as the four exclaimed "Scarlet!?"

"Scarlet's Sephy's secret admirer!?" Zack and Genesis laughed hysterically receiving glares from the other customers.

"I didn't want you to bring your subordinate's to our date." She said angrily.

"This is no date. I want Masamune back now." Sephiroth growled while giving a death glare.

"We have our date you get Masamune. And after this date you'll want to have more."

"I don't play by your rules."

"If Shinra finds out you stole the General's weapon they won't be happy." Angeal said.

"Like hell I care about Lazard!" She snapped.

"I meant the president. He won't be happy that his Great General wouldn't fight because of his stolen weapon." He said narrowing his eyes.

She seemed to take this in "Well if we just have our date it will be fine. You'll get it back."

"And if I refused?" Sephiroth asked.

"Then it might shatter into a thousand pieces." She said nonchalantly.

"What about Sephiroth's refusal to fight?" Angeal asked.

"He can use another weapon."

Sephiroth placed his hands on the table violently to lean over it. "Give back Masamune, or you die." He said coldly.

"Sirs please! You're disturbing the other customers!" A young man said. Sephiroth glared at him making him gulp.

"I'd like to order something, she'll be paying." Genesis said while pointing to Scarlet.

"Like hell I will!" She snapped.

Genesis glared at the man which said it might not be a good idea to not listen to him. "Wh-wh-what would you like to order?" He squeaked.

"Well…" Genesis started as he picked up a menu with one hand and the young man's shoulders with the other leading him away.

"H-hey!" Scarlet said.

"Genesis will be your companion tonight, now give back Masamune!" Sephiroth ordered.

"Please just give her back. Masamune is very important to him! They grew up together, fought side by side in the midst of battle, and slaughtered millions! Without Sephiroth to take care of her… Who knows what will happen? She needs her friend back, and he needs his…" Zack said in a pleading voice. Everyone in the room stared at him oddly.

Angeal raised an eyebrow. "… Zack's right. Masamune needs to go home to her friend… Please give her back."

"Men and their weapons." Scarlet muttered whilst shaking her head. "Fine, I see I took this a bit far by stealing your 'baby', but please promise me a date sometime?" She asked.

"Possibly. If you don't ever send me that crap again or sneak into my apartment. Where's Masamune?" Sephiroth asked.

"In my car." She said.

"Alright." Sephiroth said.

"Can you please buy us some dinner?" Zack asked.

"Zack!" Angeal scolded.

She smiled "Just this once."

"Yay!" he squealed. The three SOLDIERS and Scarlet had dinner together while Genesis got plastered at the cocktail bar.

"Shots! Shots! Shot shot shot shots! Everybody!" Genesis shouted as he jumped up on the counter with a shot glass in his hand.

"Security!"

"Here we go again…" Angeal muttered as he face palmed.


End file.
